Dear Universe

Response to Prompt #22, Rants and Riffs 

Whew!  While the situations are fictional (with the exception of a few minor ones), it was cathartic to lodge some complaints.  I learned a little something about myself, the function of the universe, and karma in the process.

Dear Universe,

I would really like to know what I did in a past life to deserve the karmic bullshit you have been flinging all over me for the past 3 months. Life was going along so well—I had finally gotten to a place where I felt like things were easy, and I really wanted to enjoy coasting for a bit longer. But, noooooooooooooooo, you had to step in and shake up my world like a superstorm, blowing my security out of the water and cracking the foundation of my confidence. 

Don’t get me wrong. I know I had it good for too long, and part of me was waiting for “my turn” to suffer.  But, I thought it would come in the form of something big—one disaster that I could tackle and conquer in small steps. Instead, your game plan includes a few big changes with curve balls tossed in just for fun. You’re killing me. 

Here is a list of some of my complaints in case you care:

• separation from my husband of 25 years
• a fender bender that was of course my fault (even though it wasn’t)
• a broken pinky toe
• hives from a medicine prescribed to cure a raging UTI
• a house sale that fell through (after I moved into a rental)
• added duties at my job (without a raise) due to downsizing
• my son moving back home after dropping out of college
• a stolen debit card number
• a sick parent
• a sister who won’t speak to me 
• 12-day heavy periods due to perimenopause (really?)
• chronic stomach pain
• a roof leak
• the stomach flu
• a pinched nerve in my neck
• a long-term friendship falling apart for reasons unbeknownst to me (maybe she’s sleeping with the husband I am separated from?)

I am sure I am forgetting hundreds of other little things, but you get the gist, right?

Look, I know shitty things happen to good people, but I work really hard to put good out there, so I am quite baffled at your recent attack. Please let me know how we can rectify this problem so I can move along with my life. 

Sincerely,

Negative Nelly

Dear Negative Nelly,

Let me begin by saying that I am quite fed up with taking the blame for everything that goes wrong in a person’s life.  What you ignorant humans do not seem to grasp is I am not for or against you. I just am. 

You see, I am pretty busy keeping the cosmos all together and don’t have the time or energy to concern myself with the minutiae of your daily life. And, for you to think otherwise is inexcusably egotistical. It’s about so much more than you. 

You see, the ideas of good/bad and reward/punishment are wholly human constructs.  There is no cosmic boomerang that throws back at you what you toss out. It would be fanfuckintastic if you could wrap your minuscule brain around that. 

So, instead of erroneously blaming me (and karma), why don’t you just try to take responsibility for things as they come and deal with them? You will find that you will be much more at peace—notice I didn’t say happy—if you can manage this.  You were never guaranteed unbridled joy and smooth sailing on your journey, so get over that idea right now for your own sanity.  You will experience pain along with your pleasure. You will suffer what you see as injustices—both major and minor.  Sometimes, it all gets piled on at once.  It’s not payback for having it good for so long. It just is. 

Oh!  Another helpful hint: Why don’t you try being grateful when things are going your way AND when they are not? Changing your mindset to find the good in each and every day will do wonders for your woe-is-me attitude.  You could start by making a list of everything that is going right.

Keep putting good out there, but don’t expect life to be a cinch.  Maybe, just maybe all the changes and “bad” things going on in your life are leading to something greater than you could ever imagine.  Don’t let your negativity get in the way.

Sincerely,

The Universe