Two Japanese Words

Response to prompt #55 A Word of Inspiration

Immediately after Laurie posted this prompt, I sent for the book What a Wonderful Word, knowing it would be a wonderful resource for me and my creative writers. I look forward to designing ways for them to use these words.

Today I had the writing bug, so decided it was time to get serious about this prompt. I looked back through the book and settled on two possibilities. Then I noticed they were both Japanese, and decided to attend to both of them through short pieces.

The first word is Kawaakari -- the gleam of last light on a river's surface at dusk. I decided on the 100 word format, this time as a memoir, in honor of Natalie's students getting published.

The second is Nakama -- friends who are like family. Ever since all our family members have left the area, I sometimes feel very vulnerable and afraid. Then I remember my Trail Brazens and for the moment, I feel better.  I did a poem in our time-honored acrostic form for this word.

KAWAAKARI

The last gleam of light on the New River. The loons calling into the October night, a sorrow-filled goodbye tone.

In my mind I’m sitting with Uncle Dick. We both had deep appreciation for the 400-year-old elm tree within reach from this porch, and the trio of silver birch trees, flashing gem-like in the mountain breeze. We believed God was in nature, and trees communicated with us. Many decades older than I, we were kindred spirits.

Two years gone.

Today I’m alone, thinking of how much he’d love this Kawaakari, the light breathing its last breath. Something we all do…eventually.

NAKAMA

Natalie, Laurie and

Annmarie, their consistent

Kindness and inclusion,

Always going beyond simple friendship

Meals shared and our writing, of course

A place for me in this lonely world.

Koyaanisqatsi

Response to Prompt #55, A Word of Inspiration

When Laurie posted this prompt, I didn't exactly examine each word, even though it piqued my interest. Too many non-negotiables clouded my vision, kept me from being close to ready to attack not only this prompt, but the previous one.

On a second, more in-depth glance, the  word "koyaanisqatsi" leapt off the page. It is the Hopi word for "nature out of balance or a way of life that is so crazy, it cannot continue long-term" (Edwards, 2018).

If ever a word was created for me at this moment, this is it.

Having just returned home from a hair appointment filled with much needed hugs and an extra long scalp rub from my hairstylist turned friend, followed by a Target run for groceries and paper goods, I had my list of things to do next scrolling non-stop in my head: laundry, cleaning, food prep, workout, catch up on some work...

But, thankfully, I needed to eat. I hadn't had breakfast after a fitful night with stomach pains,  and my body was telling me I needed to sit down and eat. The banana I pinched from my produce bag didn't cut it, so a Greek-inspired grain bowl make with leftovers and some lemon orzo soup it was (well, is--I'm taking bites in between the typing). I decided instead of flicking on the TV, I'd flip open my laptop instead.

Koyaanisqatsi. It's not like I live a crazy party life, but my life has been its own brand of crazy as of late. Some self-induced, some imposed upon me by others. I am out of balance, the scales tipping so heavily on the obligations side that I'm surprised I'm standing upright.

I decided to look up the word for "life in balance" and found "suyanisqatsi." As Helen reminded us on Facebook today, it is the New Moon, a time to set our intentions. Suyanisqatsi is my goal, a life in balance. That doesn't mean it won't be crazy as I finish my master's degree, juggle a job with overwhelming amounts of work (and very little time after meetings and school visits), and gear up for Alyssa's wedding, but my intention is to balance it with downtime, give myself time to reflect upon and appreciate the blessings in my life.

I'm sad about the reason I will have more time, the death of my dear little dog, Semi, but I think he would approve of how I plan to spend it: taking longer and faster walks than his little legs and advanced legs could handle, going to the gym, getting massages more regularly, reading, writing, spending more time with friends, being more attentive to John in the evenings, and staying just a tad later at work so I won't have to bring work home (it's amazing how much you can accomplish when everyone else is gone). If there's a few things that little ball of fur and sass taught me, it is that I am worthy of unconditional love, that the things I do are appreciated by those around me, that I have more patience than I give myself credit for, and that I have a lot of love to give. Those are gifts I don't have to reserve for others, but can extend to myself.

I cannot continue to function (or function well) under my current level of stress long-term. But, I am the only one who can bring that into balance, tip the scales in my favor.

And that's what I intend to do.


P.S. I just ordered the book.



















Reference

Edwards, N. (2018). What a wonderful word: A collection of untranslatables from around the world.

Burned Out

In response to Prompt 54: Writer's Block

Writer's block feels like lots of ideas stuck in your head but only temporarily because you've got so many non-negotiables and worries about deadlines out of your control that you cannot think straight and you want to write so badly but you really cannot find the time not as in you're not making time but you have every waking moment of every day including weekends booked just to meet obligations and basic necessities like getting gas and grocery shopping and trying to choke down meals that get stuck in your throat or come up later because of the searing heartburn caused by eating when stressed.

Writer's block feels like your creativity is being sucked out of you by an industrial-sized vacuum, every tickety tap of your keyboard devoted to work or school--not the kind of writing you long to do but the writing you must do--just to keep up but just barely and turning in what you consider mediocre work but getting kudos or an A on it anyway secretly grateful that your "good enough" is impressive to some people even though you're not sure how or why.

Writer's block feels like an oppressive heat bearing down on you, leaving you nearly breathless, every inhale a burden so you take shallow breaths just to conserve your energy ever though you know you need to breath d-e-e-p-l-y but you're body just isn't allowing it.


Writer's block feels like stepping in dog shit in your dress shoes as you are already running late like your dog peeing on the elevator for the umpteenth time in a week even though you walk him religiously every two hours or less but then you feel bad for scolding him as he tries to make you out through thick cataracts and you watch his legs shake as he tries to steady himself to do his business one leg up like usual but then gives up and girl pees.

Writer's block feels like a lame excuse, an annoying family member you can't escape, an acquaintance that sucks the life out of you the irritation you feel every time someone asks you for something because you want to scream, "I DON'T HAVE TIME TO HELP YOU RIGHT NOW!" not believing they can't make the fucking inference as you are running around like a crazy person trying to get it all done burning
the proverbial candle at both ends.

Prompt #55: A Word of Inspiration

This lovely book is available on Amazon

I was drawn to this book on my shelf this morning. I pulled it down and tried to recall where or from whom I got it. There is no note inside the cover indicating it was a gift, but I have to admit I don't remember for sure. It's just the kind of book I would purchase on my own impulsively; I am a logophile. I think I may recall standing in an actual book store looking at it, so it's possible I bought it myself. Then again, this may be a false memory.

Anyway, I sat with my Cold Brew coffee this morning and read the entire book. It's a delightful collection of 29 "untranslatable" words from around the world. Many of them represent recognizable feelings and concepts, but do not have direct translations in other languages. I giggled at the two English words included in the book, gobbledygook and whimsy. I think these are interesting choices, given English is the language with the greatest number of words (about 250, 000 according to the book). Gobbledygook has American origin (Texas, 1944) and though it wasn't directly stated as so, it seems whimsy comes from England.

For this month's prompt, we will use words from around the world to inspire our writing; genre of your choice as always. I have selected five, and included them as photos because they are presented so beautifully in the book. Enjoy!

The illustration on this one was so beautiful, I had to include it.

Ready, Set, Go!

Writer's Block  Response to Prompt #54

Writer's block feels like...procrastination

Years and years of thinking about (and doing very little) writing has brought me to this lovely place where I write on a fairly regular basis.

I know how to fill the well. I know how to find inspiration. I have means of sharing.

I have no designs on publishing a great novel, or even a collection of short stories.

I write for my own pleasure.

Yet...there is room for improvement!

In 2013 we began this writing group. At the time I was leaving high school teaching for a more desirable work schedule. At the same time I was quitting a second job. I felt the world was opening up and my creativity would soar.

And, frankly, I have accomplished a lot.  In particular, a daily blog in 2015 and a school year project of writing a poem for every one of my 135 students. I've written short stories and too many poems to count. I've experimented with tons of forms, and gained a great deal of knowledge by attending the Sanibel Island Writer's Conference. All good.

So...you may be thinking, where lies this so-called procrastination?

I have three things that I want to move forward on, but something stops me. Or, I set a goal and take some steps, but never quite finish.

The first is a story I outlined in June 2013 while floating in my sister's pool when they were out of town. It's working title is "Summer Rain." Sometimes I think it is a story. Sometimes I think it's a novel. I've never written a word of it.

The second is what is now called "Invincible." It began in the spring of 2014 when I saw two girls playing with a horseshoe crab at the beach. I decided it was a story, and I was going to attempt episodic fiction. Procrastination fiction is more like it! I had at one point built this story into a novel in my mind, and then last summer I moved it back to an episodic story. I even realized a new ending in July and spent some time on it. In my memory I got farther along on it than I actually did. I looked at it yesterday and realized I have not even gotten to the part that is going to inspire the ending. There it sits.

The third is the "Wing and the Wheel" story I drafted a good portion of during spring break 2018. This one I hit a brick wall on when I realized that the structure I was using probably wasn't going to work. Through my reading I found a way to approach it that might work, but have never gone back to even begin to figure it out. There it sits.

I calm myself by thinking some of the following thoughts, all which I think have some validity, but also can be overcome:

1. I get to know my characters because I'm "living" with them. But do I need to live with them THAT long?

2. Some things just need the space to grow into what they are to be. I'm good at allowing that, which is a positive thing.

3. Teaching gobbles up so much of my creative thinking time, and breaks are a time to rest. These are facts. But not really an excuse.

And here's an additional thing: I get some kind of satisfaction in this. I really do. There is some kind of payoff to holding on to anticipation of what could be. Something is happening -- when will I know what it really is?

That's all well and good. But I figured something out on "Invincible" last summer, and still did not follow through.

Procrastination. With benefits.

Here's another thing about me -- I like starting things. I like the global picture. I usually get bored with the details --- BUT...when I put myself into it, I love the revision process, working out the kinks, finding the right words. I really do. That is a satisfaction I deny myself when I procrastinate.

To throw something else into the mix here, I'm actually thinking of starting another project. But this one will have a deadline built right in. November is National Novel Writing Month, and I have not even considered it the last several years, mostly because of the Sanibel Conference. This year there is no conference, and I have the entire week of Thanksgiving off with absolutely no plans in sight. I'm thinking it might be a time to go back to the "Summer Rain" story and make it a generational novel. I will be forced to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, or be a miserable failure.

No time for procrastination. No time for anticipation.

What I know about NaNoWriMo, having done it successfully in 2003 and 2007, is that it is an incredible way to write with wild abandon, to allow my story and characters to stay alive in my brain, and keep my creative life on center stage. That is the purpose of doing it. And I'm doing it with thousands of people all over the world, so it is a little less lonely. If I never do anything else with the novel -- no difference to me. I'm seeking satisfaction. I'm seeking pushing beyond procrastination.

So writer's block feels like waking up and finding a way to make my writing life work in full.  My first step will be to expand on my notes, revisit No Plot, No Problem written by the founder of NaNoWriMo Chris Baty,  and check out the website.

As far as the episodic "Invincible" goes, I have a tentative plan for it as well. I have a class full of students who have been writing random stories, always in "chapter" form. Like 100 word chapters. I'm thinking of introducing the concept of episodic story to them, so they can work with a form they already seem to like, but grow in how to approach it. While they write, I can be working on "Invincible."

Win-fuckin'-win.

Having said all that, I think I've moved in a positive direction. Natalie, thank you for this prompt. It has been a motivator! And now that I publicly stated all this stuff...well...expect to hear more.

Blocks

Response to Prompt#54: Writer's Block

Block

a large piece of hard material
usable with flat edges
rock, stone, wood

building or part of a complex,
used for a particular purpose

obstacle to the normal progress
or functioning of something

a set of sheets of paper
glued along one edge
used for sketching or writing

large piece of text
processed as a unit

a starting block
ready, set, go!



A note: I was doing an exploratory activity to inspire a response to this prompt. I was thinking about the difference between simply not feeling like or wanting to write, and the experience of writer's block, usually afflicted on those needing or wanting to write, but feel they can't. I found myself reading definitions of the word block and was somewhat taken by the various definitions, a few of which related to writing, not writer's block. I found this connotation of the word in some of the other definitions and phrases. However, "writer's block" was not included in any of the dictionary entries. 

This found poem feels a little like writer's block... the building up of expectations and solid ideas, maybe with a structure or a purpose. But then something gets in the way. A blank tablet stares you in the face, the idea comes to you, and finally the starting gun shot and you're off!