Creating Me

Response to Invite to Write Ch-ch-Changes

Live the Life you Love

By Dana LaLonde

I am in the midst of changing my life in ways I'd only dreamed of. I have had a dream version of myself my whole life. I imagine many of us do.

I've always wanted to be a citizen of the world, stranger to none, lover of my fellow man. I have always wanted to go somewhere unfamiliar and call it home. I've always wanted to immerse myself in a life full of communal joy. I have visions of a house in the woods, jazz streaming through the yard, friends new and old passing through, celebrating the sweet joys that only creating community can bring.

I want to make the world my home and strangers my family.

I want to live in a tiny house in the Andes.

I want to take away all the comforts I cling to see what I really need.

I want to live in harmony with nature and an ancient culture.

I want to create a sustainable life on a small farm, minimizing my ecological footprint.

I need this. I need to be someone I am proud of.

In the end, we live the life we must.

We make the choices we can live with.

My whole life I've devoted to creating a normal, American suburban life. I did. I am a soccer mom, a teacher in my hometown, the proud mom of an American soldier. The problem is, I'm not normal; I'm a writer.

I've realized recently that my need to create new worlds on paper stems from my need to create a new world for myself. My life didn't suit me.

Thanks to various changes this year, another woman has moved seamlessly into my old life, giving me the opportunity to create a new one. I am thankful for this chance, for the opportunity to be unabashedly myself.

I have the opportunity to be the woman I admire. I have the opportunity to show my sons another way of being. I have the opportunity to create myself, on my terms, in my way. I have the opportunity to chase my dreams, giving my decade of former students an object lesson of living.

I can't wait to see who I become.