I Got This

Response to #71: Reflection

Lately, when I look in the mirror I see a chameleon. I peer straight into my own eyes as I start each day and strangely, I think of the song from A Chorus Line.

What does he want from me?

What should I try to be?

So many faces, all around and here we go...

But he is really they and they is really everyone and the next line in the song is I need this job, but I don't need a job. I'm justing thinking about how I am going to be everything to everyone today. I'm thinking about the right facial expression the appropriate tone in my voice and the right time and situation to start a conversation or to ask a question. What to cook, what time to be here or there, or to serve dinner. There is so much going on in my world right now. I'm standing in the cone of a tornado, everyone and everything spinning up and around me, and I'm trying to keep it, all of it from blowing away. 

I get up, quietly in the dark early hours of the morning, I step into a hot shower. I stand with my feet planted, and I concentrate on grounding, pushing my feet to the tile. Looking in the mirror today, I look right through the dark circles and the swollen lids. Remarkably, I think I got this. And I do.