When Laurie posted this prompt, I didn't exactly examine each word, even though it piqued my interest. Too many non-negotiables clouded my vision, kept me from being close to ready to attack not only this prompt, but the previous one.
On a second, more in-depth glance, the word "koyaanisqatsi" leapt off the page. It is the Hopi word for "nature out of balance or a way of life that is so crazy, it cannot continue long-term" (Edwards, 2018).If ever a word was created for me at this moment, this is it.
Having just returned home from a hair appointment filled with much needed hugs and an extra long scalp rub from my hairstylist turned friend, followed by a Target run for groceries and paper goods, I had my list of things to do next scrolling non-stop in my head: laundry, cleaning, food prep, workout, catch up on some work...
But, thankfully, I needed to eat. I hadn't had breakfast after a fitful night with stomach pains, and my body was telling me I needed to sit down and eat. The banana I pinched from my produce bag didn't cut it, so a Greek-inspired grain bowl make with leftovers and some lemon orzo soup it was (well, is--I'm taking bites in between the typing). I decided instead of flicking on the TV, I'd flip open my laptop instead.
Koyaanisqatsi. It's not like I live a crazy party life, but my life has been its own brand of crazy as of late. Some self-induced, some imposed upon me by others. I am out of balance, the scales tipping so heavily on the obligations side that I'm surprised I'm standing upright.
I decided to look up the word for "life in balance" and found "suyanisqatsi." As Helen reminded us on Facebook today, it is the New Moon, a time to set our intentions. Suyanisqatsi is my goal, a life in balance. That doesn't mean it won't be crazy as I finish my master's degree, juggle a job with overwhelming amounts of work (and very little time after meetings and school visits), and gear up for Alyssa's wedding, but my intention is to balance it with downtime, give myself time to reflect upon and appreciate the blessings in my life.I'm sad about the reason I will have more time, the death of my dear little dog, Semi, but I think he would approve of how I plan to spend it: taking longer and faster walks than his little legs and advanced legs could handle, going to the gym, getting massages more regularly, reading, writing, spending more time with friends, being more attentive to John in the evenings, and staying just a tad later at work so I won't have to bring work home (it's amazing how much you can accomplish when everyone else is gone). If there's a few things that little ball of fur and sass taught me, it is that I am worthy of unconditional love, that the things I do are appreciated by those around me, that I have more patience than I give myself credit for, and that I have a lot of love to give. Those are gifts I don't have to reserve for others, but can extend to myself.
I cannot continue to function (or function well) under my current level of stress long-term. But, I am the only one who can bring that into balance, tip the scales in my favor.
And that's what I intend to do.
P.S. I just ordered the book.
Reference
Edwards, N. (2018). What a wonderful word: A collection of untranslatables from around the world.
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