Mother/Daughter 1969/1999

 Response to #64 Language of the Times

 

I cannot believe it has taken me two months to pull this together. But here, alas, it is. It was definitely a harder prompt than I anticipated.

Fortunately, I came upon some inspiration that helped moved things forward. I modeled this after a poem called “Two Young Women” by Deidre Barry I found in Linda Christensen’s book Reading, Writing, and Rising Up 2^nd edition.

 

Then I used the "What's Your Word" cards Kathy gave me to answer 33 questions for each character represented here. This gave me tons of background information I could draw from to make them come alive just through a collection of statements. It helped me draw distinctions and connections between them. Ginny and Kimberly also might be characters I come back to for other little stories. I found a lot of conflicts between them and others that could be fodder for some stories.  We'll see.

Anyway...enjoy. Looking forward to your feedback.

 

 

Mother/ Daughter  (1969/1999)

 

I am Ginny, 30-years old, separated from my husband, and with child.

I am Kimberly, single, purposely busy, and one who thinks it’s pretty cool that a new millennium is upon us soon.

 

I am grateful I have a job and for this baby I am carrying inside me.

I am grateful for technology and the Internet, and for all the things my mom taught me about writing.

 

I want to let go of my fear of having this baby alone.

I want to let go of my childhood and feel like a full adult. Why is it so hard?

 

If I were not afraid I’d open my own public relations firm – then I couldn’t get fired for being pregnant.

If I were not afraid, I’d go to fashion design school. It seems frivolous, but I think about it all the time.

 

When I was a child I dreamed of being a writer like Laura Ingalls Wilder.

My childhood dream was to be a fashion model. I quickly learned I don’t have the body for it.

 

My biggest regret was being so naive to trust Bob. We met in high school, and he was drinking a lot then. Why did I think it would be any different when we married?

My biggest regret is not going to fashion design school because my mom thought writing was more important. So here sit my English and Journalism degrees, but my mind is always on fashion. I feel unfinished in so many ways.

 

I recently tried a zapper, also called a remote control for the television. It is convenient, I suppose.

I recently started listening to K-Pop. Great music.

 

The defining moment of my life was when Bob got his third DUI on the day I realized I was pregnant. Everything has changed since then.

A defining moment for me was when I learned about the blogosphere. Here was a place to publish without going through a ton of rejection. I started blogging about all the latest fashions and jewelry, and probably won’t ever stop. It's my passion.

 

The most important thing to me right now is this baby. And keeping my job, even though my boss is an unknowledgeable, flesh-pressing, jawboning idiot – and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I love this job and desperately need it. The break point will come when he finds out I’m pregnant. Thank God I don’t have to deal with any sexual harassment from him. He has called me a “straight arrow”  about a kazillion times. He seems to think I’m too old, even though he’s well into his 40s.  Yech—agism raises its ugly head, as usual. And his reasoning sounds like some fuzzy logic to me!

The most important thing to me is my computer. I know it increases my carbon footprint, but how could I possibly live without it?

 

My dream is to have my own PR firm. Not that it is possible given my present circumstances.

Someday I dream of getting deeper into the history of fashion and writing a book about why it matters.

 

Success is writing well, raising a great kid, and not being dependent on a man.

Success is moving forward on my dreams of being a popular blogger, of being more involved in fashion (beyond the merchandising I do now), wearing all the latest designs and bling, falling in love, and having children. You know, have it all. Isn’t that the promise from the Women’s Movement to those of us who followed?

 

The kindest thing anyone ever did for me was when my mom helped me know I don’t need to stay married to an alcoholic jerk, even though I was pregnant. She helped me feel like everything would be all right, even as I was bringing shame on the family. We have really bonded since then. She has even suggested I hire a doula to help with the birth. I guess that’s like a midwife? I’m not sure, though. A regular old doctor will probably be best.

The kindest thing anyone ever did for me was my mom setting me up with technology. When she knew I wanted to be a blogger, she bought me one of the best computers on the market and paid for Internet service for a year. Having her own PR firm, she understands this stuff, even if in other ways she’s clueless. Let’s face it—she did it because I was living her dream for me of being a writer. Okay—I’m being snarky. It was kind, and very helpful, and I need to remember that.

 

I feel loved when someone makes me a cup of tea—even if I don’t drink it. Like my mom has always done when I was down.

I feel loved when someone “gets” me. So far, that is my friend Marti. I never have to explain anything her, she doesn’t tell me what to do, and she doesn’t do any other stupid stuff that drives me nuts.

 

I need to overcome the challenge of divorcing, having a child, and possibly losing my income.

I need to overcome the challenge of the constant negative talk in my head, the chatter that tells me my dreams aren’t good enough, and no guy will ever really love me. I have just had bad luck in that area. The last one I was with was a hoarder, and I can’t stand clutter. The one before that had a mood disorder which made him impossible to be around sometimes. And then there was the guy who didn’t smoke regular cigarettes – he vaped. Who does that? And not one of them “got” me. I want to get excited for the future, but I’m almost 30-years-old. When will it happen for me?

 

I make a difference in the world because I help companies communicate to their customers who they are and what they stand for. Even if I’m only an assistant, I do a lot to make these things happen.

I make a difference in the world because I champion beauty.

 

My big question: Is it a boy or a girl (I hope it’s a girl.)

My big question: How do I get rid of the negative voices in my head?

 

One kind thing I can do right now is take my mother some flowers for supporting me though this crazy and difficult time.

One kind thing I can do is to invite my mom over for a cup of tea. Yeah. I think she’d like that.