My Dear Country

 Response to Prompt #29  "What the Hell Just Happened?"

My Dear Country

I.

It was November 8, 2016 when I slyly played the Norah Jones song “My Dear Country” for my 8^th graders. “Nothing is as scary as election day,” she sings. I did it as a bit of a joke.  I was so trusting.

Little did I know...

II.

That evening I’m watching the returns like most Americans probably were doing.  All was going well until it wasn’t. I watched as the tide turned.  My stomach sank when I could see what was going to happen. I was stunned. I was confused. But mostly I was embarrassed. I buried my face in my pillow and cried for my country.

What the hell just happened?

III.

Darkness descended as winter approached. Nothing said or done was making anyone feel any better.  Those with opinions tried to explain what happened.  The economy and the forgotten middle class were given as “the reasons.” 

But we knew that couldn’t be true. We knew misogyny was alive and well. We knew racial division had never truly gone away. We knew that if there were Americans who can forgive a white man sexual assault and elect him president, their values are royally screwed up.

And we also knew that the true economic indicator came from the land of the rich, who held their noses and voted their greed.

IV.

January 21^st comes. There is a huge Women’s March in Washington DC.  I’m in Stuart, Florida at a Sierra Hull concert. The mood is high. The hope is strong.  Sierra is a millennial who gave me new understanding of her generation’s role in our world. She sings the 1960's Impressions song “People Get Ready” with incredible soul.

Get ready, indeed. 

After the inauguration the entire conversation revolved around the size of the crowd. Really? Is that all we have to talk about in this country? Any thought that real priorities would take center stage were quickly dashed.

What. The. Hell?

V.

Blunders, blunders, blunders.  Nothing sticks because something new pops up the next day. We run out of response time. World leaders are shoved aside. Taunts come across Twitter. Promises we thought were rock solid are being dismantled. The agencies we rely on are headed up by people who don’t believe in the mission of their agency.  This has gone beyond Orwellian.

It’s relentless.

Nothing is changing except our will to try to live through this. But it is hard. Month after month, we feel worn down, afraid, hopeless, panic-stricken, angry, horrified, rattled, disgusted. 

Mostly disgusted.

VI.

Comedians help us get through. There isn’t anything else we can rely on.  I begin to live for the next Randy Rainbow or Trae Crowder video.  The next excellent Saturday Night Live skit.

I need perspective.

I need relief.

VII.

In 1993 I read a popular book by M. Scott Peck called The Road Less Traveled. I will never forget the opening line:

Life is hard.

The day I started that book, I stared at those three words for five minutes.  He told it like it is right up front. 

What a relief.

But not really.  Because he was referring to entropy – a law of thermodynamics.  And a bit of a spiritual law as well.  Forces are always leading us toward death. Forces that are not of God are powerful, not because they are that way on their own, but because their force draws attention, taking us away from what we must focus on.  Why else would there be the names Satan and Lucifer?  We know there is truth in this.

Entropy is a force we are always fighting. But in 2017, we are fighting against an even stronger spiritual incompetence because of its position in on the world stage. We need more energy than ever.

As Hafiz said a long time ago:  “We are all holding hands and climbing.”

It’s definitely not easy to hold the hands of millions of Americans at the same time we try to climb this mountain of “What the hell is happening now?”

VIII.

By June, we are getting worn out.  The strains of “People Get Ready” from January still ring in my head, but not with the same fervor I felt.  Accusations and lies continue to flow. The quest to pull health insurance from millions continues. Putting more money in the hands of corporations and the obscenely rich is the only priority. Fingers are pointed and people are barred from being in our country, or deported willy-nilly.

It’s relentless.

We wonder if anything will ever stick. We wake up every day to a new darkness and a new question:

What the hell is happening now?

My Dear Country…I grieve.

IX.

Tragedies strike. Hate marches. Shootings. Hurricanes. Floods. The brink of nuclear war. Suffering.

Responses from those who are charged with the care of the American people are poor, if not non-existent.  Or the responses incite, rather than comfort.

It’s all the same self-centered human error.  The roller coaster ride continues.

X.

I’ve been trying to hold on to love, and the proper response, and yes, I still believe in the miracle. But this situation seems to have compromised my immune system. Yes, it may seem weird, but when I asked What the hell just happened? when I received a weird diagnosis, I did some soul searching. And I realized that this has been lying below the surface for a long time. I am keeping up a good front, but getting sicker inside.

I can’t believe I’m the only one.

Entropy.

XI.

Hafiz said:

Not loving is letting go.

Listen,

The terrain around here

Is

Far too

Dangerous

For

That.

XII.

And I’m not the only one. There has been a surge in references to love conquering all on social media. It’s impossible to ignore. People are taking action, both inside and out.  Speaking up. Protesting against what they see. Big white men are being torn down for years of misbehavior. It’s happening so fast, it’s surreal.

Yet, some pedophiles are still being excused by others, using The Bible of all things.

What the hell is happening? 

One step forward, three steps back.

XIII.

Norah sings,

I’ve loved the things you’ve given me

I cherish you my dear country

But sometimes I don’t understand

The way we play.

XIV.

I used to think when I grew old, thanks to FDR, I would have resources to help me.  I no longer believe that.

XV.

I now live in a world where I need to be concerned about what Bernie Sanders called “the global oligarchy.”  This is where we are.  Billionaires all over the world are tearing apart the future of every American, every world citizen, just to get more for themselves.

For what?

As they say, you can’t take it with you.  Especially where they’re going. 

For once in my life, I do hope Hell is real.

XVI.

It was another Tuesday in November, and the news was good.  Elections were showing a backlash to all that has been happening.  It’s the best possible news. It means we are still holding hands.  We aren’t letting go.  We are gathering our energy and putting it to good use.

What the hell just happened?

We are still free.

We are still free.

We are still free.

So, People....get ready!