Prompt #26 Free Style--What You Don't Think About

Life is full of new beginnings and do-overs.  I feel as if I'm sitting on a precipice between then and now, before and after, truth or dare.   You never expect a big change, no matter how much you plan for it or know it's coming.  Yes, my daughter is going to school and that's a big change, but I never thought about the "what after".  My life has revolved around her for as long as I can remember.  I can't imagine my life before... before she came into being.  She's such an integral part of my life for, well for ever.

So now what?  Who am I?  What do I do now that I'm not a full time mom anymore?  Where do I go from here?  So many questions plague me because I don't know the answers.  It's as if she and I have the same questions burning within us.  She needs to know what she wants to be when she grows up and I need to know what I want to be when she grows up.

Have I prepared myself for this moment?  NO!  I planned for her a-ha moment, but not mine.  Why would I?  Nobody prepared me for this part.  I can do anything, be anyone... just not full-time mom anymore.  That feels weird, empty.  You hear about people going through the empty nest syndrome, but two weeks later they are on vacation and doing their own thing.  Huh, how do they do that?  I'm certainly not old enough for retirement or rich enough to travel the world.

So now what? Immerse myself in my job?  A new talent or career?  Do I need to change anything or everything?  What is life like after the kiddos grow up... I don't know.  I'm sure I'll figure it out, one day at a time, one new challenge after another.  Maybe.

I've always been the planner, and now I don't know what to plan for.  Such a conundrum, an odd place to be.  Strong I am and strong I will continue to be.  Time to change hats and there are many to choose from.  My next life beckons... what will I become?