Dinner with the In-laws by Annmarie Ferry

For prompt #19 Grocery List Flash Fiction, I am finishing a story that I began at the Sanibel Island Writer's Conference.  It's kind of cheating, but I like what I have so far and want to see it to fruition. I don't have a picture of the list, but it was titled "dinner with the in-laws" and included the following: chicken boobs, garlic, cheap white wine, zucchini, beer, and whiskey. A little bubble letter note on the bottom read:  Please remember to get EVERYTHING this time. If not, add "new wife" to the bottom of this list."

With that said, I plan to visit the found grocery list site often for inspiration--or just a good laugh. I might even pluck a few to use as part of a lesson in the classroom on characterization.

I just hope no one ever finds my grocery lists...

Dinner with the In-Laws

The beads of sweat forming on Kelsey's upper lip threatened to dissolve her carefully applied Bonne Bell Lip Smack gloss. This was the first time that she would host a dinner for her new in-laws. She wasn't worried about her father-in-law; as long as he had his whiskey, he would wolf down about anything.

But, her mother-in-law was a different story.  Although her taste in wine was less-than-sophisticated, she was quite the foodie. And quite the bitch.

"Did you get the garlic?" she frantically asked her husband, whose ass was comfortably planted on the sofa, beer in hand.

"Oops. Guess I forgot," he shrugged as he took a swig of beer, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped it down.

"You jerk!" she shrieked, not amused. "I even put a note on the list to P-U-H-L-E-E-Z get everything. Everything in ALL CAPS!"

"What's the big deal? It's only garlic?" Chip's gaze wandered back to the TV.

"Only garlic??? Only garlic???" Kelsey was ready to toss the pan at the back of his head. "I am making garlic chicken for your goddamn parents! You know your mother will looooooove this fuck up."

"Call it un-garlic chicken then," Chip chuckled at his own joke.

Now tears streamed down her face as she eyeballed the other spoils from Chip's half-assed shopping trip: zucchini, cheap white wine. She was considering just guzzling the entire bottle, but then inspiration struck.

She carefully sliced the zucchini as the chicken browned,  then removed it to sauté the veggies. When they softened, she splashed the pan with some white wine, added the chicken, and let it all simmer.

"Voila!" Kelsey exclaimed, victorious. "White wine chicken with zucchini."

"Is that even a thing?" Chip grunted.

"It is now." The back of his head, the pan, the temptation was becoming too much.

The ding dong of the doorbell came just in the nick of time.  Chip slowly peeled himself off the couch, beer in hand, to help Kelsey greet his parents.

"Hello, dears," chirped her mother-in-law, fake smile plastered across her smug face. "It smells divine in here."

"I would love to sniff some whiskey," grumbled her father-in-law as he gave Kelsey a quick peck on the cheek.

And so it began, dinner with the in-laws.  Thank God Chip remembered the whiskey--and to grab two bottles of cheap white wine.