Do Not Be Afraid

 Response to prompt "Flashbulb Memories"

This is not at all what I was planning to write about.

But the events of the past few weeks have caused a major change in me. And not all good.

Yesterday I was so distressed before work I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.

But I pulled it together and went in because, well, what choice did I have? 

Fortunately my dear friends had given me a new journal that I keep in school and so I've been pulling it out and writing every time I start to feel lost, alone, unsupported, demoralized...

And yesterday some words came to me that have been a comfort since a flashbulb moment from almost 30 years ago.

*

It was late June 1993 when my husband blew his back out and had to have surgery. His doctor was already talking about the possibility of having to go on disability. We had a fairly new house and a lot of debt and I was terrified and under a major amount of stress. Seeing him in pain added to my anxiety.

On the evening of June 29, I had an aching head and so much fear in my heart I found myself crying out to the Holy Spirit for help.  And this is what I heard:

Yesterday when writing in my journal about how I feel my teaching life is being stripped away, these words started flowing out of my pen.

This morning I recited these words to myself as I took a short walk in the neighborhood. This message never fails to fortify me.

I am forever grateful for the flashbulb moment that brought these words of comfort to me. And though I despise my current situation, it reminds me I have mighty helpers looking after me.